Cornelius Hickey (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
spotsalone) wrote2025-04-11 07:04 pm
spotsalone) wrote2025-04-11 07:04 pm
Entry tags:
angelo and the hickster's post-belle arctic adventures
angelo cr chart
mutineers cr chart...
timeline:
- arrival; late july, mutineers' hill
- tent chats; early august, temporary camp
- spotting the ships; late august, terror camp
- tuunbaq attack; sept 1, ice floe camp
- boarding terror; fellas it's gay; early sept, hms terror
- dog to dog communication; early sept, forecastle
- bark bark bark; early sept, on deck
- coat! and post-tozer debrief; early sept, angelo's cabin
- 🌶️; early sept, hickey's cabin
- the dogs are unionizing(?); mid sept, cargo hold
- tozer/captain stuff, look at them having an adult conversation; mid sept, greatroom
- little rescue mission; early oct, terror bay
- post-little debrief; early oct, hickey's cabin
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With Hickey holding his hand close, there is no room for him to move away either. They're shoulder to shoulder, and the room feels almost warm despite the season. ]
I don't think any distance in those cramped piles of fabric can be counted as 'far'. It was miserable.
[ They'd still been far too close! He doesn't like proximity! These are thoughts in his head as he comes to rest his head on Hickey's shoulder. How much further can he probe before it becomes unpleasant? How much more until his heart stops fluttering? ]
Feels like a lifetime ago. Back when I still thought I'd never again tolerate somebody touching me.
[ And more quietly, without further elaboration: ] Now's different.
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At first, he was deeply annoyed by the Tuunbaq ruining the plan, but it's tragically poetic, isn't it? That bloody bear is the reason they let things escalate so quickly that first night on the ship, too. It cut him off before he could get too close, and now that they've admitted their attractions, Angelo is further away than ever at night.
A stray thought catches him: He wishes Angelo hadn't kissed him.
But he dismisses it as abruptly as it arrived. He hates the sour note of that memory because it should be a good memory. It makes him all the more determined to salvage this for the both of them. ]
Different, yes.
[ Hickey shakes off the dark cloud as he shifts, his arm drawing back to wrap around Angelo's waist. This is where he wants his mind to be. All he wants to think about is the feeling of Angelo's body snug against his, their fingers twining together, his pulse pounding a little louder as he buries his face in Angelo's hair. ]
I'm certainly glad for your change of heart there. What a shame it would be to miss out on this.
[ His voice is quieter now, nearly a whisper with his mouth so close to Angelo's ear. And lower still: ]
I need you to promise me something.
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Nothing could be more special than this, giving up the chastity he fought for so hard. ]
You said something similar to me, way back then. That it was a shame.
[ It's strange to think back on that. Amusing, too. Many things have changed. Proving that point, Angelo takes his hand from Hickey's lap and brings it up to his cheek as he turns his face towards him. The beard feels rough under his equally rough palms. Angelo wonders if they'll be able to hang on long enough that they'll have access to proper hair care again. He dares imagine it, both of them well groomed and the bed wider and smelling softly of detergent. How nice... ]
What kind of promise?
[ His voice is equally quiet, but he consciously holds back on the seductive drawl that had been second nature to him for years. That's not who he is now. That's not who Hickey is speaking to. Not yet, at least. ]
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As badly as he wants this, he knows how delicate of a situation they're in. He can't lose himself in it, not tonight. Not when a slip up might land them in disaster. ]
Tell me if it gets to be too much. I won't have you leave this room unhappy.
[ He says it lightly, as if it's just another flirt, but his eyes are serious. Hickey has never been overly concerned with his partner's enjoyment beyond what serves his own ego. He relishes in catalyzing that pleasure, in earning every sound and shudder and sigh he can get out of them. That desire feels different with Angelo, though. The thought that he's never had good sex is... Well, it will not stand.
More than that, the thought of Angelo confusing him for some customer turns his stomach. Once they get started, stopping would be agony, but finishing at Angelo's expense would be unsatisfying, anyway. Not nearly worth the damage it would cause. ]
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And still, he wants this. To tie Hickey to him with physicality, to be a proper partner rather than someone so broken that you need to make compromise to love him. They could have remained friends instead, of course, but the idea of Hickey seeking physical comfort elsewhere has started to make Angelo sick somewhere along the way. How foolish that is.
How much is 'too much'? Angelo remains silent for a second as he mulls it over. Before today, he would have simply agreed to the promise no matter what, faked his way through if needed be. But Elias says he wants him, all of him, for who he is. More so than Angelo could imagine. Who is he if he can't meet that commitment halfway?
He swallows hard, and nods. ]
I promise.
[ If the disgust returns, he'll take the out. It's the only line in the sand that he can imagine taking notice off in the thick of it. His fingers brush along Hickey's jawline, handsomely defined. ]
... so come and devour me. I want to know what it feels like, with you.
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Devour me, and God, does he want to. Angelo has been so insistent in offering himself, even as Hickey has urged him to slow down. This, from the man that once swore he would never let another so much as look at him. The way he spat the word in such disgust, pleasure... Angelo must truly want this. Want him. That's as special as rewritten chemistry, isn't it? Angelo would sooner die than allow this with anyone else. A connection only for them.
Devour me. Hickey is drunk with it for a long moment, pulse quickening. He wants to know what Angelo tastes like too, wants to delve inside of him and sweetly strip meat from bone. Angelo speaks of himself as though that's all he is, all he's worth, and maybe Hickey can tear away those rotten parts, gently, gently...
In that moment, Angelo is everything, and Hickey would do anything for him. He doesn't know why those words draw such a reaction from his body. Distantly, he registers that Angelo has an expertise here. Did he know exactly what to say to inspire this feeling? Is this what it feels to be on the other side of his own manipulations?
He pushes off of the bed to swing his leg over Angelo's, straddling his lap. His palms slide over Angelo's chest, over his uniform. Connotations aside, Hickey does quite like the look of it. He'll share that later, maybe, but for now he just wants it off.
His fingers trail up Angelo's neck to his jaw, tilting his head up for a kiss—though Hickey stops just short. ]
We're going to take our time with each other.
[ He whispers it against Angelo's lips as one hand carefully works open his jacket. ]
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And then the first clasp of his collar comes undone and all high-minded thoughts vanish from Angelo's mind. Weeks and weeks spent evading stripping even under threat of death, and now he's letting those careful hands lay him bare. It makes this whole thing seem real. His heart feels like it wants to escape his rib cage, a bird flapping its wings inside his chest.
Angelo takes flight and connects their lips the rest of the way. Earlier in the day, he'd kissed Hickey as if it were a show of force, flaunting all his skills and simulating needy urgency in every move. This time, he lives up to Hickey's quiet order, and takes it slow. No tongue, no teeth, just lips against lips, soft and probing. When he breaks apart again, far too soon, his lips are tingling. How odd. ]
... mhm, of course. You'd better appreciate me thoroughly. It's my first time, after all.
[ He laughs lowly as he says it. It's a joke at his own expense, but one that contains a good amount of truth. It's the first time that matters, the first time he chose for himself. And don't men love taking someone's virginity? Angelo watches for Hickey's reaction from the corner of his eye, while his own hand goes searching for the top buttons of his shirt. He's not going to be the only one exposed here. ]
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He doesn't want either of them to be thinking about that now, so instead, he shifts perspective. He will be the one to show Angelo that sex is not so vile as he thinks. Not first, but only. The only to give rather than take, the only to earn the right to touch him, the only to witness him in his rawest form and not some performance.
The thought does send a thrill through Hickey, his skin growing warm with need, but there's a flutter in his heart, too. In some ways, this is a first for him as well. First in a long while, at least. When was the last time he fucked someone he felt a true attraction to? He once thought Billy counted, but there was never any love in the way they groped each other in the hold, fumbling through too many layers of fabric in the cold and damp darkness. The sex was as good as it could've been, but that's all it was.
He needs to stop thinking about Billy. Needs to stop thinking about whatever horrid creatures laid hands on Angelo before him. Angelo wants to be appreciated? Well, they finally want the same thing. ]
Oh, I intend to.
[ He snaps open the last of the uniform's fastenings, then he draws back to shrug off his suspenders as Angelo's hands work down his shirt. He truly hasn't allowed himself to lust after Angelo properly. He didn't want to get his hopes up for a thing that may never come to be—and before that, he half-expected to be punched if his gaze was caught wandering.
Now, he doesn't bother to hide the yearning in his eyes, or the way his breath quickens at the sight of Angelo underneath him, jacket laid open just enough to tease at what's beneath. The tip of his tongue runs over his lip unconsciously as his shirt falls off of his shoulders and onto the floor. ]
Christ, do I want you.
[ His voice is low and hungry. There's no mischievous lilt to his words, no mask of a smile. It's Elias that slips his hands under Angelo's uniform to ease it off of him, relishing in every inch of skin under his fingers. ]
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Elias seems to be looking through the mere facts of his body, and when he touches him, Angelo wants to think that his hands are passing right through his skin, deeper, towards parts that matter more. He's been swallowed up so many times, but this time he wants to give more than hard-to-chew exterior. He wants to offer the sweetness of his flesh out of his own accord. There's a shiver down his spine, and it is not unpleasant. ]
Elias...
[ Angelo just barely has the presence of mind to take his uniform jacket and put it aside at the foot end of the bed, rather than leaving it to be crumpled and stained by what is to come. It's a very quick diversion before his arms reach up to wrap around Elias' shoulders, pulling him in. This body that he hasn't allowed anybody to see, the pale skin unmarred except for a few faint scars, he'll welcome Elias to it.
The air around them is cold even within the heated cabin, but Angelo doesn't feel the chill now. Elias' body is warm against his. Angelo drops a tentative row of kisses over his collarbones. He's never been proactive or gentle like this if he could help it, it feels novel. He's sure his cheeks are flushed with embarrassment. ]
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Already, he's all but forgotten the precariousness of their situation. Not just how little food they have or the pathetic state of their crew, but if not for the gentle rocking of waves rolling their bodies together, he might forget Terror entirely. It's easy to let himself detach from reality after the palace. Reconciling how strange his life has become is a skill he's yet to master, even if he pretends otherwise. Sometimes Angelo's presence alone doesn't feel real.
He's the only thing that feels real now, though. Elias presses forward, leaning them back against the cabin wall. His hands explore over Angelo's chest, his ribs, his stomach, before settling at his hips. Elias ducks down to nuzzle at his neck. ]
I like hearing my name in your voice.
[ It feels like a secret, but one they're keeping just because they want it all to themselves. He nips lightly at Angelo's throat, and then plants his own meandering line of kisses down Angelo's body as he eases backward off of the bed. As promised, he takes his time, savoring the skin under his tongue, slowly working down to the crest of Angelo's hip, just above his waistband. ]
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As Elias' tongue slips out to tease at his chest, Angelo can feel his breath hitching and his pants tightening. Ah... Arousal is mechanical. Angelo has learned that very early on. No matter how repulsed one may be, push the right buttons and you can make their body work for you. He'd often wondered if it was a defense mechanism, a feeble attempt of the physical form to draw out just enough pleasure to keep on getting by, to keep living. It had been pointless, anyhow. Only good as a selling point, masking just how detached he'd always been when someone laid their hands on him.
But he's not detached now, not in the same way. His mind is hazy, fluttery, uncertain where to linger and what to move on from, but he feels. His hands stay on Elias' shoulders as he moves down, aimlessly wandering just to keep touching, and Angelo's mind keeps repeating words, like a prayer. Elias wants me. He'll take all of me and spit nothing out. I can't be corrupted by him and I can't corrupt him. It's too late for both of us. He wants me.. He wants me... ]
... I like to say it.
[ He's a little slow to answer, too focused on breathing and feeling. This much is nothing, the lightest of foreplay, but he feels more worked up than usual. ]
It means it's just us. Nobody else matters.
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Nobody else matters.
[ The Captain doesn't matter.
That's not how it's meant, and Elias will never admit to taking it that way, but it is true, isn't it? The Captain never earned this privilege, never truly appreciated what he had. Was Angelo even really a person in his mind? Or just an obedient guard dog?
First.
Only.
Elias' hands move downward over Angelo's thighs. He's a slender thing—both of them are, though only one of them has the advantage of immortality to stave off the wear of starvation. Elias is far from deterred, though. He likes the feel of hard muscle under his palms, and it's rare that he's gone to bed with a partner that isn't notably larger than him in one way or another. That will be useful, he thinks absently.
His fingers find the fastenings of Angelo's pants, but he doesn't work them open just yet. He can see the fabric tightening just as his own cock is straining against his trousers, and he's certainly noticed the way Angelo flushes at his touch. Still, he looks up at Angelo again, eyebrows quirking up in a silent question. Yes? ]
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Angelo exhales very slowly, willing tension out of his body. He wants me, he wants me, he wants... ]
Go ahead.
[ A whisper, a sigh at the tail end of his breath, an invitation. He doesn't have much wiggle room to spread his legs, but he makes an effort anyway. ]
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[ Said as his grin widens, buttons already coming loose under his fingers. ]
The last time I asked you to take your clothes off, I got a bloody lip for it.
[ Elias wholeheartedly believes he could seduce damn near any man into bed with him, but even he would've doubted a glimpse into this future. Courting Angelo was an even more impossible prospect than immortality at the time. Imagine.
His fingers hook in Angelo's waistband and he eases both pants and underwear out from under him, over his knees, until Angelo is left naked and waiting on the bed in front of him. Elias has imagined this more times than he'd care to admit, but the sight stirs want into need. His heart thumps insistently in his chest and the rush of heat nearly convinces him to skip the preamble and make Angelo his here and now—but he inhales deeply to steady himself.
His hands catch Angelo by the hips to tug him to the edge of the thin mattress. Elias lowers himself to his knees, beard scratching softly up the inside of Angelo's thigh, and then his hand guides the head of Angelo's cock into his mouth. ]
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Last time you asked me this, you implied there would be nothing worthwhile to see under my clothes either.
[ Comparing that to the hungry way Elias drinks him in now is a difference of night and day. Dark lustful eyes... Angelo spreads his legs wide to accommodate for Elias between them, and ah... How many times has he been in that exact position, someone else looking down expectantly the way that he is now? It's not his first time having the tables turned, but it's the first time he feels something stir in his heart at being desired so.
So Elias swallows him up and Angelo leans back on his hands, fingers digging tightly into the mattress. His body is perfectly capable of responding as it should, even now, he is finding. There's a twisting feeling in his stomach, a light involuntary twitch of his thigh, and his nerves are burning up with the attention of a tongue over his most sensitive parts. How nice it would be, if he could easily pin-point these sensations as pleasure, but it doesn't come together that way so easily. It's as if he has his own body under a microscope. Instead of drifting far far away, he's now all-too-aware of every tingle and surge.
Is Elias enjoying this? Does it feel good to him, does he enjoy the taste and weight of it? Angelo finds it difficult to imagine, but he hopes so. He's quiet, and largely still, but his chest is heaving and his breath comes out in pants. ]
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He pulls back just long enough to shrug. ]
Sometimes I lie.
[ He says it like a quip and he doesn't expect the significance to register, but it's an uncomfortable thing to admit. The thought of another person understanding his nature is as thrilling as it is frightening. Angelo must feel some scale of that now, surely, splayed out as he is with another man lapping at his cock. Elias has well gathered by now that he doesn't think himself capable of enjoying this.
He's all the more determined, then, as he drags his tongue up Angelo's length, fingers squeezing at the base. He doesn't want Angelo to finish from this, but he does want to get him close, close enough to ache for it when Elias finally drives into him.
His lips close around him again, tongue gliding over the slit before taking Angelo deeper into his mouth. It's still just teasing really, Elias drinking up the taste of him, fantasizing about working Angelo like this until he shudders and spills down his throat. Next time. For now, he's satisfied with the heavy heat pressing against his palette. His arm slides under Angelo's leg to pull it over his shoulder. ]
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(He's heard that line many times, from many different men, with their fingers roughly pulling at his hair. "This is your place. You look good like this.")
He never thought that he'd think this about another person one day - it feels filthy, it feels wrong, it feels... true, also. The way Elias seems to basically be smiling around his shaft, like he'd rather be here than anywhere else in the world right now, it squeezes at Angelo's heart and at the tightly coiled arousal in his groin alike. He wants to ask about it, later, what it's like to take joy in this. But now... ]
Ah... Elias...
[ Angelo digs his heel into Elias' back and allows his voice to slip out. Quietly, because the walls are thin. Quietly, because he's flustered by the onslaught of sensations. But audible nevertheless, because Elias likes it. ]
Mhm... don't go too far. I want you to -hn-- take me properly.
[ If Elias can look like this when he's just using his mouth, what kind of face is he going to make when he pushes in all the way? What will his voice sound like? It's so disgusting, so obscene, to see a man lose himself to his desires, but Elias looks so natural on his knees in front of him. Still like himself.
Does Angelo look like the person Elias knows right now, flushed and breathing heavily? The angel of the cesspit has always looked this way, but Lieutenant Angelo Sauper... Will Elias still look at him the same, once all is said and done? ]
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But he does come up for air, his hand replacing his mouth with languid, teasing strokes. His own breathing is ragged now. ]
Careful there, lieutenant. I might start to think you want this for more than just my sake.
[ He grins. Angelo's cock is slick with saliva, and Elias collects some of it onto his fingers. He watches closely for Angelo's reaction as those fingers probe at his entrance.
Then, in a whisper: ]
You can enjoy this, you know.
[ Elias wants him to enjoy it, wants to see him fall apart and forget how to think. Angelo has said over and over again how ambivalent he is toward the prospect of living. One good fuck won't change that, but it will be a start. This is life in its rawest form.
The hand still on Angelo's thigh moves instead to his knee, hugging his leg close as Elias turns to kiss at it, willing Angelo to relax. One finger slides into him, and then two, as Elias works him open in a slow, gentle rhythm. ]
It's just us, remember. I'll take care of you.
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"You can enjoy this, you know."
What preposterous words, what a pipe dream, but yet-- Elias' lips brush over Angelo's inner thigh just right and his whole body shudders. He'd somehow thought proper pleasure wouldn't be so strangely tickly - and is that what this is? Proper pleasure? Desire? Does he want-- ]
Of course, I want it.
[ It's easier to spit it out all indignant than it is to finish the thought in the privacy of his own head. ]
I want-- I need to know what it feels like when it's you, what it sounds like, I want-- They've all taken me apart, torn into me, spat me out, and it was so digusting, I was so filthy-- and you, you... I want it to be different.
[ It's already different, a strange mid-point. He can shiver and sigh and let himself feel, but it's... There is so much baggage, and even if Elias tells him to enjoy it, he's not sure how to make it click in the same way it is meant to for the more fortunate. Disparate sensations and emotions swirl through his mind chaotically.
Angelo unclenches one of his balled fists from the sheets so he can reach out and run a hand through Hickey's hair. Awkward, unsteady, not meant to allure, just to-- He wants to convey something. To them both. ]
Make me forget all of them. Elias.
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But Angelo's words send him reeling, his expression softening into real concern. Make me forget all of them. First. Only.
His feelings for Angelo are already stronger than they should be. He's falling far too quickly, letting himself get worked up into spouting words like love before he realizes what he's saying, but it's not a pleasant emotion. It feels like screaming into an oncoming storm. Despite his knack for recalibrating his perspective to bear reality, his heart is often guilty of petulance. He wants, and when he cannot have, he desires, then craves, then needs. It's the Captain in his way this time. Elias has tried to sate himself on Angelo's words, but even with the careful repair of the coat now hanging on the wall next to them, Elias finds it difficult to believe. Something is happening between them, but the best he can do is make peace with the fact that he wants more than Angelo will give him, and that aspect of their relationship will stay one-sided until, inevitably, they burn it all to the ground.
It's love that he feels now in Angelo's voice, in his eyes, in the fingers in his hair. Just the smallest spark of it, a flicker that won't last, but it's there and maybe it can come back. Like screaming into a storm—and then comes a break in the wind and he can hear himself for the first time.
It scares him. The weight of what's between them finally clicks into place, and his instinct is to escape it. They are not soulmates. Destiny has not brought them together, and this is not a beautiful love story. This is messy and desperate and painful—already. They're barely started, and they've already ripped each other to shreds, both of them too feral for tender love.
Escape is the logical option. It would be at Angelo's expense and it would make the coming months nearly unbearable, but he would protect himself from real damage. He's made that difficult choice dozens of times. What's once more?
But he can't leave. He can't, and only because Angelo is asking him not to. That scares him more than anything.
Elias finds the hand in his hair and holds it to him, leaning in to press his lips against Angelo's wrist. His eyes close, and it takes him a moment to quell the anxiety roiling through him. ]
Anything, for you.
[ And somehow, he needs to recover from that. Quickly, too, as Angelo is struggling with his own battle. This can wait.
Elias rises to catch him in a kiss, deep and heady, needier than he means it to be. One hand drops to pry open his trousers. He wasn't quite done between Angelo's legs, but he can't be patient any longer. ]
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"Anything, for you."
If he were in a more coherent state of mind, he wouldn't believe him, and yet right now all he can think is Is this what 'anything' tastes like? If it is, then it's good. Even with an aftertaste of his own precum in Elias' mouth, Angelo can't help pushing off the bed a little to press into the kiss, to get closer even when closer is physically impossible.
I want this.
A terrifying realization with terrifying weight. Angelo wraps an arm around Elias' waist, pulling him in (closer, closer) and his other hand awkwardly worms between them to try and help with getting those useless pants off. He ends up hindering more than he's helping, but maybe that's fine-- It's the most enthusiasm he's ever had for getting another man's clothes off his body, and maybe that counts for something if he really, truly wants to enjoy this.
Wanting alone does not undo all the damage that has accumulated in his body and mind, he knows. There is a very real chance that he'll get hurt, and that's it. Not just because he's under-prepared and there is no lubricant available, but also because his psyche might simply reject all that he is currently so desperate to overwrite the past with. Any moment, he could grow numb and cold again, merely an object for someone else's pleasure. The prospect hadn't bothered him when he thought of this only as an exercise to bind Elias to him with his own desire, or as an experiment to see what Elias would be like in the throws of it-- It hadn't bothered him, because in none of the ways he framed it to himself did it ever have anything to do with him. His own physical form was a vehicle for greater goals, a means to an end.
Yet now he's felt it - the sparks that can run through him when he's touched just the right way by a person of his own choosing. Weird and wrong, too unfamiliar to be entirely comfortable, but yet enticing - full of potential. Angelo wants to hear Elias' hot breath, his strained sighs, and know that they're in this together, and maybe then-- Maybe then, when the noises are no longer revolting, maybe then he'll feel it completely. ]
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Hold on.
[ He mumbles the words against Angelo's lips as he dedicates both hands to unbuttoning his trousers. Before long, he's shoving them down and off, a motion made awkward by his reluctance to part from the kiss. Arousal pools heavily in his groin as he guides Angelo down onto the bed, laying him onto his back and climbing on top.
How good it feels to be naked like this, another body warm and wanting underneath his, hands groping hungrily, cocks rubbing together between them. Elias grinds down into the heat of it, a soft sigh escaping him at the stimulation he's been craving. It's a relief, but only just. He's going to need to keep himself on a tight leash to stop from getting carried away.
He pulls back to kneel between Angelo's legs again. This is where the mechanics of sex start to annoy him. There's just enough necessary preamble to feel like an interruption, so he wastes no time spitting into his palm to slick himself up.
His eyes drift over Angelo as he strokes himself, though. He's not eager to hurry past this view of him spread open and panting, lips red and cock swollen from all that Elias has done to him already. This sight is only for him. He wills himself to fixate on that thought rather than on the fear still lingering from a few moments ago. ]
God, you're stunning.
[ A breathless statement as he pulls Angelo into his lap, angling his hips upward. Slowly, he eases inside, his breaths coming heavy and measured, trying to tamp down his own pleasure until Angelo can accommodate him. ]
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Elias' cock brushes against his own and Angelo's jaw drops as he lets out a desperate high-pitched sigh. He barely recognizes his own voice like this. He must be looking disgraceful, debauched to the fullest, reduced to nothing but this-- but Elias tells him he's stunning and all he can do is wish fervently that he truly believes that. That he sees something more in him than a consumable, even now. ]
... nnhh...
[ It hurts a little, to be entered without proper preparation. The pain is nothing in comparison to what he had to endure before, but if his goal is to enjoy rather than merely survive, then perhaps even this much pain is worth paying attention to...? What are his limits, what are necessary concessions? He doesn't know. It all feels a little ridiculous, especially when he's bursting with fearful anticipation of what is to come, but... He rests his hands on Elias' hipbones, slender and hot below his shaky fingers, and exhales slowly.
His heart is beating so wildly. He tries to will himself to relax, but at the same time he's an exposed wire, sensitive to all. ]
... you should say my name, too.
[ He's heard his name whispered and screamed in unpleasant voices, a cacophony in his memory. He doesn't want to remember that. He only wants to think of the way the Captain said it and of-- ]
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It's a carnal thing, yes, but there's an unfamiliar neediness to it, too. This feels significant in a way it hasn't with others, like they're consummating this undefinable connection between them. Alarm bells still ring in his head, but Elias slides in a little deeper and sees the look in Angelo's eyes and just like that, the alarm bells are out of earshot. Whatever deadly mess this will eventually become, for tonight, they are together, and he can make Angelo happy in a way that no one else can. When he's left standing alone in the wreckage, at least he'll have this one unmarred memory to hold onto.
He's still drunk on it when Angelo speaks again. Elias grins, benignly irritated at being told what to do by the man he's fucking. He wants to resist just to be stubborn, but he did just say anything, didn't he?
One hand hooks under Angelo's thigh to hold him open, and Elias leans forward, nipping at the hinge of his jaw, nuzzling against his temple. ]
Mm, Angelo...
[ His breath is hot and loud against Angelo's cheek, controlled still but just barely so. His hips rock forward again, and again there's a little more give. It's Elias' turn for a desperate sigh, the sound so quiet it'd be lost if not for their proximity.
His voice is quiet too, but just as desperate. ]
Take all of me. I want to bury myself in you.
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Closer, closer. It feels so good when Elias leans in to him and Angelo's arms wrap around his shoulders, nails digging into skin just to keep him there. Part of him wants to tell Elias to just hurry it up, to push into him all the way with no regard for pain, to claim him as he desires... but the slow gradual forward rhythm is too sweet a torture. It's filled with care, it feels warm. ]
Yes... I want all of you.
[ Angelo angles his head so he can kiss Hickey's throat, soft and fleeting. ]
As deep as you can reach - give me everything. Take everything.
[ It's a manic kind of prayer to say it all out loud, but his heart is screaming for it. Take me, consume me, devour me, make me a part of you.
With every careful thrust of Elias' hips, Angelo's body allows more of him inside. Closer, closer. The hold on Elias' shoulders was designed to keep him from leaving, but quickly shifts purpose. Now Angelo is holding on to steady himself. Closer, closer. He's taken larger men before, but that was years ago. It's difficult now, to adjust to the feeling of fullness, but it is also more rewarding than it had ever been before.
When Elias finally bottoms out, Angelo feels delirious with desire. Gasps have turned to moans and tears sting in his eyes, and he wants. ]
-- more.
[ He doesn't think he's ever asked this of someone in earnest. ]
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