spotsalone | angelo and the hickster's post-belle arctic adventures

[ Angelo closes the greatroom door behind him with a little sigh. It feels as though the weight of the day falls off him a little when it's just the two of them, and he cherishes that feeling. For a while, this peace had felt precariously at risk, but the past week has settled them back into a semblance of routine. ]

Busy, indeed. You won't recognize the forecastle anymore.

[ He crosses the room with a few decisive steps and takes a seat right next to Hickey, close enough for their legs to be touching. ]

I've had Tozer drag up materials from the hold so we could insulate the walls better. It's not exactly pretty to pad everything with fabric and straw, but we need to conserve coal where we can and I'd prefer to not waste too much of it on heating.

[ Whether or not this move is effective at all remains to be seen. Angelo has no way of knowing - he's basing his reasoning on attempts to keep himself warm in cardboard box tents, and those are presumably quite different from giant sailing ships. Nevertheless, it was something to do, and worth the attempt. Nothing to lose and a lot to gain. Angelo likes feeling busy and productive. ]

[ Well, that explains where Tozer's concerns stemmed from. Hickey laughs tiredly around the cigarette in his mouth. ]

He mentioned you two had spent some time together. Making friends, are you?

[ He wants to hear Angelo's side of things before he reveals more, but he considers it a show of respect that he brings up the exchange with Tozer at all. With anyone else, he'd play dumb.

As Angelo settles next to him, Hickey wastes no time in slipping an arm around him, his hand trailing over Angelo's shoulders. Each touch is a deliberate thing, meant to be felt and enjoyed with full attention. Even here, even with how lax they've been about keeping their own secret, every moment of contact feels like an enormous privilege. Hickey hopes he never grows tired of savoring that. ]

Friends? Hardly.

[ It's accompanied by a harsh little laugh.

Angelo is not shock that Tozer ran to Hickey about this - they both knew that the other would do this. It only comes as a surprise that Tozer felt the matter was so urgent that he somehow beat Angelo to the punch. Trying to get ahead of any doubt Angelo could cast on his loyalty...?

For how tired they are all the time, they still find too much time to play mindgames. And Angelo really is tired. The labor of the day wears him down quicker now than it did even while they were hauling the boats, he can tell. He hasn't eaten properly since the castle and it's become impossible not to feel it. He allows himself to lean into Hickey's touch a little, leaning shoulder against shoulder. He's been taking care to reciprocate little gestures like this. ]

He says he doesn't dislike me, but I doubt the truth of that. We nearly got into a fight.

[ Hickey hums through a breath of smoke. He offers Angelo the cigarette. ]

Solomon is a more compassionate man than he seems. I suspect he has a soft spot for you.

[ Or, rather, it's quite obvious now that he does. There's no other explanation for their little tiff earlier. Tozer's concern for Angelo's mental wellbeing wasn't born out of fear for what he might do. No, he was worried for Angelo's sake, and Tozer would not spare such a thought for a man he truly disliked. Nor would he square off with Hickey over it.

Still, the near fight is concerning. Hickey can't have his two most loyal at odds with one another, at least not publicly. ]

Tell me what happened.

He tried to warn me.

[ Angelo takes the cigarette with a practiced ease. This exchange between the two of them has become something intuitive, a representation of their bond manifesting physically when they spend time together. Idly, Angelo is aware that this is damaging his own health while Hickey will remain pristine no matter what. He doesn't have it in him to care.

So he takes a drag of the cigarette, before elaborating. ]

He's scared of you, you know. Told me you lie all the time and that it's hard to brace against even when you know it. I don't think he has any intention of betraying us, but he's on edge.

[ He hands the cigarette back. ]

I told him he can shove his half-baked advice up his ass, and that my commitment to you isn't to be questioned.

[ That confirms it, then. Are you making use of that? ]

He thinks I'm manipulating you.

[ He huffs out an irritated laugh. If Tozer feels protective of Angelo, that can work in their favor. They can use it. It's a positive development that Tozer has misread the situation.

But it's frustrating to be suspected, especially when there's no truth to the accusation. His history doesn't matter, given that there's no dire need for politics in their present situation. Is he meant to be manipulating Angelo for fun? Ridiculous. Insulting. He thought Tozer knew him better than that.

Not to mention, Angelo doesn't trust him, either. And Tozer insisted on driving home his point about the Captain.

Hickey takes the cigarette back and flicks away the ash. Distantly, he registers that last thing Angelo says. My commitment to you isn't to be questioned. That's good. Later, that will make him feel better.

For now, though, there's a petulance in his voice. ]

And I don't lie all the time. Only when I need to, which is actually quite rare.

[ It's true, even. If you're only counting outright lies and not omitted details, or spun truths, or little tricks of tone and timing—which he isn't. ]

[ Angelo gives him a sidelong glance at that. It's rare to hear Hickey sound so indignant. Angelo likes it more than the raw vulnerability that arises between them sometimes. It seems equally genuine but much less tricky to navigate. ]

And yet you're one of the sneakiest people I've ever met.

[ He drops his head onto Hickey's shoulder, perfumed locks spilling over his clothes. It's a conscious action, though he takes care to make it seem incidental and casual. It's effort to try and speak Hickey's language, but Angelo's never shied away from putting in the work. ]

I'd have thought you view that as a strength. Tozer's seeing your power and he has no idea what to do about it.

[ If Angelo's way of survival can be admirable, surely Hickey is proud of his own craft. ]

[ Sneaky? Hickey scoffs, thinking Angelo has for some reason chosen to pile on another insult—but, oh. He sees the attempt to comfort him and he allows it to work. It is a strength. It speaks to his skill that even after hearing this, Hickey knows that Tozer's loyalty is secure. He may be getting squirrely on his leash, but he's desperate in a way that Hickey can easily play to. He's not going anywhere.

Hickey isn't sure when he started to think like this. Elias isn't sure. "Sneaky" has always been a fitting description because it needed to be. Deceit became necessary for hope, and then for survival. But when did it morph from what he does to who he is? ]

A strength, yes, but not one I relish using. Both of you have only known me under dire circumstances.

[ He hugs Angelo to him, nosing briefly at his hair as he watches the door. The likelihood of anyone bothering them is low. Tozer won't be back tonight and Manson is thoroughly sick of his company for the evening. Should anyone else come calling, they'll hear the footsteps approaching.

Still, they need to be vigilant, sitting together like this. It's distracting. ]

Tozer craves responsibility. He is at his best when he has someone to look out for.

[ He takes a drag of the cigarette, examining their remaining roster in his mind. Pilkington is the only marine left, he's reasonably sure. An Erebite, and a stupid one at that. No wonder Tozer is attempting to outsource. ]

It seems he's slotted you into that position.

[ Oh, Angelo feels his skin crawl at that assessment. He'd certainly been getting the impression that Tozer was concerned, but his own mind's insistence on being disliked that helped stamp down any further thoughts about the matter. Tozer is projecting. A cut and dry explanation for all that transpired.

But this-- Coming from Hickey, it has a damning amount of credibility.

Angelo squirms out of his hold and gets up, because there is a sudden current of frustrated energy within him that is struggling for an outlet. ]

Well, he should fuck right off.

[ He balls his right hand into a tight fist, another valve to release the budding pressure. ]

I'm not a pet project for him to nurture, and if he thinks this makes me need saving, then those tinned abominations have eaten more of his brain than I thought.

[ It's the same tins he's also had to start dipping into recently, with their other provisions running low enough that they could no longer sustain him on their own. Little facts that cannot stop Angelo from tasteless insults. ]

[ He makes a noise of disapproval as Angelo stands. Don't punish him for Tozer's transgressions. ]

You'll note I did not say "save". He's a soldier, not a mother hen.

[ This is going to be another instance of personals butting up against practicals, it seems. Hickey leans back against the bench, rolling the cigarette between his fingers as he watches Angelo. ]

The two of you have a fair amount in common. He's reacting to that, not to some weakness he sees in you.

[ He thinks, anyway. It may be both, but Hickey isn't about to suggest that. Let Tozer dig his own grave, if that's the case. ]

[ That just makes Angelo huff in annoyance. Whether it's at the content or the fact that Hickey thinks to defend Tozer at all, he can't quite say. ]

If he were such a proper soldier, he'd mind the fact that I outrank him.

[ Even though that rank is far from official. In a proper military, lieutenant is a rank for a commissioned officer and Angelo has received no real training that would qualify him for such a position. He got handed the title because it was convenient for what Frontal wanted of him.

Angelo leans against the table in the center of the room and crosses his arms, indignant. ]

I don't care to calm his nerves. He should stick to Pilkington.

[ Hickey sighs. He expected some irritation, but not to this degree. It's a good thing Angelo wasn't here to witness Tozer suggesting his sanity might be compromised.

He wonders too how much rank means to Angelo—or to Tozer, for that matter. He still refers to them by their titles, but it's all pandering. Armitage was hardly a soldier, but Hickey still called him "private" to keep him loyal. And no one addresses Hickey as their captain, anyway. Surely none of them must imagine these ranks are anything more than monikers. ]

Why does this bother you so?

[ Said through a lungful of smoke as he finishes off the cigarette. It's an honest question rather than an attempt to downplay. He could point out that this development may benefit them, if Angelo is willing to lean in. Clearly, he's not, but perhaps with some encouragement...

But he needs more information before he can massage this in any particular direction. Angelo is upset. He'll fix that, first. ]

[ The straightforward question makes Angelo frown a little differently, from an angry scrunching up of his nose to a confused wrinkling of his forehead. ]

It bothers you too, doesn't it?

[ He'd thought the source of annoyance would be blatantly obvious from even a cursory summary of the situation. If Tozer thinks he needs shielding, then he is not seeing him as an equal, let alone a superior... And worse, he's blatantly overreaching in terms of familiarity.

But even above all that... ]

Your left hand man thinks I'm with you through trickery. It's an insult to both of us.

[ And Hickey' initial response seemed to suggest much the same - but then, in the back of his mind, Angelo can hear Hickey saying the same thing Tozer had. That he's here for a lack of options. That no choice was ever involved. He shuts it out. ]

[ Hm. An insult to him, yes, but Hickey hadn't much considered it an insult to them both. It's plain enough now that Angelo points it out, though he's still inclined to think of it as a beneficial development.

Besides, the true insult to Angelo had come in private. ]

Tozer thinks that he is with me through trickery. He's projecting, and trying to make sense of circumstances he does not understand. Perhaps he's even trying to reconcile why I've chosen you over him.

[ That would make sense, really. If he feels himself manipulated, then seeing Angelo as a victim of that same manipulation would be a salve.

Angelo does have a point, though. Hickey tosses the spent cigarette into the stove. ]

It does bother me, yes, but that is not productive.

[ 'Productive'. It's a very Hickey-like word to use - and it turns this from a conversation between lovers (that's what they are now, is it not?) into more of a strategy meeting.

Angelo cannot deny that they have the need for one. Tozer's continued cooperation is imperative to their survival in the long run. They do not have a lot of crew left to man this ship and Tozer's more valuable than most of the others.

Thus Angelo sighs and uncrosses his arms so he can push a stray lock of hair out of his face. ]

Then what is?

Edited 2025-10-08 22:37 (UTC)

You could allow him to think he's made an impact.

[ Hickey stands finally and joins Angelo at the table. He won't like this suggestion. ]

I've set him straight as far as any trickery is concerned, as have you. But if he believes he's made something of an ally in you...

[ A conversation between lovers versus a strategy meeting... To Hickey, there is no distinction.

Not much of one, anyway. Though they do stand to gain from Angelo playing along, it's not their only avenue forward. For anyone else, Hickey would not offer options. It wouldn't be a discussion, but simply an order, if disguised as a gentle request.

Hickey's tongue plays at the inside of his cheek as he recalibrates. It's annoying, having to adjust his plans for the comfort of another, but he doesn't want Angelo unhappy. ]

It's your decision. I won't ask you to do anything that upsets you.

[ It's a very Hickey-like strategy and he must have known before he even said it that Angelo would hate it. He may phrase it nice and passive, but 'allowing Tozer to think' anything does invariably include some amount of pretending on Angelo's part. If not lying outright, then at the very least holding his tongue far more than he'd like to. Even though Angelo has no moral objection to such a gambit, the idea of having to put the energy in... It just pisses him off.

And even beyond his general unwillingness to bend himself around the psychological needs of others, there's something off about this plan. ]

You'd willingly allow him to think he's swayed me away from you at all?

[ That probably shouldn't bother Angelo, but it does. ]

[ Hickey shakes his head. ]

Not at all. You can appreciate his concerns without confirming them. If he feels a bond with you, he will realize he's wrong without us needing to convince him.

[ That, and all three of them will ultimately be happier for it. He still believes it's possible for Tozer and Angelo to get along. It seems that Angelo is the only one preventing that from happening now, though that's unsurprising. He's not inclined to get along with anyone. Hickey might be less willing to press the issue if he suspected any unique level of dislike for Tozer, but he suspects this is just more of the usual.

He takes a step closer and then reaches to give Angelo's hand a reassuring squeeze. ]

I would never allow him to believe he's driven a rift between us. Besides, I have serious doubts about our ability to play that part.

[ He smiles, his thumb brushing over Angelo's knuckles. It would be fun to pretend, but these circumstances aren't right for it. Hickey isn't willing to unwind himself from Angelo yet, not to the degree they would need to be convincing. ]

[ It's that final remark that gets a little huff of amusement out of Angelo. ]

You've got that right.

[ Coming up on two weeks of being together without getting into a fight about it, Angelo is slowly beginning to flourish in it. Hickey may have advised them to caution with the romantic part of their relationship, but that does little to put a damper on the sheer joy of flaunting a more general and more all-encompassing kind of belonging. He swore his life to Hickey - and as much as said life is a strange empty remnant that Angelo is not sure he's ever wanted, it still feels like it's been filled back up with meaning just a little.

A little belatedly, he remembers to squeeze Hickey's fingers in return. Thinking of physical gestures as something more than just exercises in passive endurance is still a conscious effort. ]

... I won't tell him that I told on him for insubordination. That's the best I can offer.

[ He laughs. ]

You would have told him otherwise?

[ Hickey would love to hear that conversation. He doubts withholding that information will make any difference, but he won't force the issue. Tozer's loyalty does still seem secure for the time being. ]

Just remember he's our ally, hm? You don't need to like him, but try not to dissuade him from liking you.

[ A feat Angelo has already miraculously succeeded in, somehow. If he stays the course, it shouldn't be an issue. The only risk is Angelo resisting more firmly now that he's offended by the prospect.

But Hickey can work on Tozer from his end, too. He won't let it become a true cause for concern. ]

[ Angelo shrugs, a gesture that separates their hands more on accident than on purpose. ]

I'm not trying to. It doesn't make much of a difference, as we both know.

[ Rose-scented soap and insistence on his privacy. An aggressive personality and a vague connection to the former case. A distaste for playing pretend with the fortunate. Little things that were all that it took. ]

I like Tozer just fine.

[ It had been waning again with the man's insistence on playing guardian, but it helps to read it as projection like Hickey does. Ultimately Tozer is useful, his priorities are largely logical rather than high-minded, and he most of the time he knows to mind his own business. With the rivalry over Hickey firmly settled, there is not much left to chafe against. ]

[ Another laugh. Yes, Angelo is objectively not a very likeable person—though Hickey would argue that the very thing that makes him so unlikeable is also the most charming thing about him. He is purely himself, and he has no desire whatsoever to make himself palatable. It's paradoxical in that Hickey can both relate to it and yet can't imagine himself ever doing the same. He can't afford that particular brand of fearlessness. ]

Ah, my mistake. You've spoken so highly of him, after all. What was it you said... You told him to shove his advice up his ass?

[ Hickey takes another step forward, crowding them gently against the table. His hands find Angelo's hips and he leans in to kiss at his jawline. ]

It sounds as though I have some competition. Should I be concerned about my standing with you?

[ He's teasing, eager to lighten the mood a little. The thought of Angelo leaving him for Tozer is comically outlandish. ]

[ It always impresses Angelo how hungry Hickey is for touch. It feels like ever since they opened the floodgates, he's not been able to get enough at all. Like he's traded in the need for food for a need for intimacy instead, feeding off Angelo in his own way.

If someone particularly lightfooted were to open the door now surprisingly they'd be greeted by an incriminating sight like no other, but Angelo still wraps his arms loosely around Hickey's waist. It's Hickey's risk to take. ]

It almost sounds like you want to be.

[ Angelo can imagine it well, strangely enough. A rival who is there in flesh and blood, to win Angelo away from. What a stark contrast to the cloud hanging between them, bearing the name of the other man Angelo holds dearest. ]

Unfortunately for you, you have nothing to fear. I keep my vows.

[ Hickey hums noncommittally. He would relish competition in the sense of another vying for Angelo's attention and failing spectacularly. False competition, really. Something to reaffirm their bond without true risk.

But he has no interest in a real fight. Especially not now, when they've just barely found their footing with one another. ]

I know.

[ His lips press to Angelo's cheek. Then, he pulls back a little, just enough to face each other... and because he's still aware of the unlocked door looming behind him. They can't get carried away.

He does have something else he wants to bring up, but the timing is abysmal—although, maybe it's not. They've taken pains to emphasize that their bond is secure. Hickey has made light of competition. They are seeing eye to eye today, aren't they? So long as he measures his reactions, surely... ]

Sergeant Tozer mentioned you told him of your Captain. You speak of him as though he is a god, he said.

[ Hickey is nervous as the words leave his mouth, a thing he feels so rarely in conversation. He wants to ask if it's true, but he hesitates, unable to find a phrasing that doesn't feel... accusatory. So he doesn't elaborate further for the moment. He wants to gauge Angelo's reaction first. ]

[ It's a little as though Hickey read his mind, but his mind might not have been too hard to read in this particular moment. Still, Angelo is taken aback. Why would Tozer feel like this is worth reporting to Hickey over...? Angelo had been wondering why he'd gotten here so early, but this can't possibly have weighed on his mind so much, can it?

Their arms around each other feel a little like chains suddenly - they're locked in this conversation now, inescapably. It's hard not to feel tense about it.

And it's equally hard not to feel defensive. Hickey told him that Angelo's affection for the Captain is not a problem in itself, and Angelo had taken him by his word on that. He doesn't know what he'd do if Hickey were to take it back. ]

... so what?

[ Despite the rough phrasing, it's a cautious question. None of this should come as a surprise. ]

We talked about Crozier, so it came up.

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