Cornelius Hickey (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
spotsalone) wrote2025-04-11 07:04 pm
spotsalone) wrote2025-04-11 07:04 pm
Entry tags:
angelo and the hickster's post-belle arctic adventures
mutineers:
- Sgt. Solomon Tozer, marine (T)
- Magnus Manson, AB (T)
- Lt. George Hodgson, lieutenant (T)
- Charles Des Voeux, mate (E)
- Pvt. William Pilkington, marine (E)
- John Diggle, cook (T) - lung damage from inhaling goodsir's evil cloud
- THE STUPID FOX
Pvt. James Daly, marine (T)- mauled by the TuunbaqEdmund Hoar, captain's steward (E)- throw into the water by the Tuunbaq"Pvt." Thomas Armitage, gunroom steward (T)- mauled by the TuunbaqHarry Goodsir, surgeon (E)- rescued by Silna after the Tuunbaq attack
boat boys:
- John Lane, boatswain (T)
- James Rigden, coxswain (E)
- John Sullivan, captain of the maintop (E)
- Robert Ferrier, AB (T)
- Robert Thomas, mate (T) - actively dying of scurvy for the crime of having two first names
- and perhaps eventually lt. little depending on how much of our minds we lose along the way
Thomas Terry, boatswain (E)- died from scurvy before the mutineers showed upThomas Work, AB (T)- died from scurvy before the mutineers showed up
angelo cr chart
mutineers cr chart...
timeline:
- arrival; late july, mutineers' hill
- tent chats; early august, temporary camp
- spotting the ships; late august, terror camp
- tuunbaq attack; sept 1, ice floe camp
- boarding terror; fellas it's gay; early sept, hms terror
- dog to dog communication; early sept, forecastle
- bark bark bark; early sept, on deck
- coat! and post-tozer debrief; early sept, angelo's cabin
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He did. He knows of the palace in the simplest of terms, and he knows I cannot die. He may return to you with questions, though it's unlikely. I wouldn't tell him why you've chosen to accompany me here.
[ There's a slight defensive edge to his tone. They've managed to avoid each other since last night, and Hickey isn't quite sure where they stand yet. Angelo seems calmer today, but it would not be a surprise if he's waiting for an opportunity to rekindle his anger. In the interest of avoiding that, Hickey sticks to straightforward facts. ]
Should he come calling, tell him whatever you like outside of revealing the significance of my cigarettes—though I suggest avoiding outright lies. Our stories will be difficult enough to keep straight if he's going to bounce between us.
[ He pauses, and then adds: ]
And do not tell him my name.
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Hickey's elaboration is met with an approving nod from Angelo, and he's about to speak when that last addendum hits and gets an incredulous little huff out of Angelo. ]
Why would I ever do that?
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I wouldn't expect you to, nor would I expect him to question my identity. But that and the nature of my immortality are the only two secrets I care to keep from Tozer.
[ In truth, he cares more about his identity than his immortality as far as the sergeant is concerned. Knowing that Hickey is an imposter would call their entire hardwon relationship into question. ]
If he does ask you about the palace, you may tell him my story to avoid telling your own. It would further secure his faith in us.
[ Granting this permission is done more out of strategy than benevolence. Hickey is well aware Tozer is unlikely to get a word out of Angelo otherwise. Clamming up will just seem suspicious. ]
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... would it? You were pretty ruthless.
[ Somehow, he has difficulty imagining that Tozer will find the story of how Hickey stabbed a woman a dozen times and then blew up a chapel to be particularly trustworthy. He'd like to see his face, though. ]
No, I'll manage to find some pointless anecdotes if push comes to shove. That month was chaotic enough that we won't run out anytime soon.
[ Talking about the others, about their murders, about the strangeness of the loop... If Tozer really wants his brain scrambled by information that sounds completely fantastical, Angelo supposes he can have his pick. It'll be easier to field conversations of that kind when he is not caught completely off-guard by the attempt.
But... Hickey really is lingering strangely in the doorway. For how confidently he forewent knocking, it is odd. Angelo hesitates a moment, then adds, a little awkwardly: ]
Come in and sit.
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Ruthless won't surprise him. He knows I've killed three men on this expedition, and Irving's death was far messier than Andrew's.
[ Five, technically, counting MacDonald and the real Hickey. They're irrelevant to his point, though.
At the invitation, he does finally enter the small cabin, closing the door behind him. Somewhat hesitantly, he sits down on the bed next to Angelo. It's a good sign that Angelo wants him here. Still, he struggles to relax completely, just in case. ]
Tozer spoke with Manson, as well. That issue is settled.
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[ Hickey makes a good point about Tozer's tolerance for bloodthirstiness, but Angelo still feels like being too candid with additional murders is probably playing with fire. They were not as desperate at the castle as the men here. The people there were playing under 'normal' rules of morality, too good for violence. Given enough time and opportunity, Tozer will turn back into that kind of person as well. There is no need to speed up the process.
Hickey sits and the proximity feels a little strange, even though they've been doing this for days now. Last night's argument hangs in the air, unwilling to dissipate even as the anger has cooled. ]
Very well. As much as I hate to admit it, the man does have his uses.
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Coming around on him, are you?
[ He's pleased to hear it. Whether or not the two of them will ever actually like each other remains to be seen, but there's a small glimmer of hope for that, now. Wouldn't that be interesting? They would certainly be a force if they came to respect one another. ]
I imagine he'll be less wary of you going forward. He and Manson suspected you of witchcraft.
[ A theory that Hickey finds very amusing. ]
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Oh, that's rich. A nasty grin spreads over Angelo's face. He doesn't laugh, but he's clearly amused. ]
Really? Witchcraft? When I'm so obviously an angel who descended from the heavens with all my blessings?
[ All his life being haunted by the meaning of his own name, and now he gets called a witch for his troubles? How rude! ]
Maybe I should have put a hex on them while it lasted.
[ (If he stops joking about it, he'll start to think about how much he and Ish had in common. That can't happen.) ]
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You ought to take a run at Sullivan with your angel story. You might secure a devoted ally.
[ Or, more likely, Sullivan would label him a blasphemer, which would be entertaining. ]
I did clear up the issue of witchcraft for Tozer, but the others may not reject the rumor so easily. They've no other explanation to replace it with... and Manson is easily frightened.
[ So, hex away, Angelo. ]
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That makes scaring him feel rather unsatisfying. I should to aim higher.
[ Angelo doesn't dislike Manson, which is more than a lot of the others can say for themselves. ]
... but it sounds annoying to have our loyal sergeant come complain to me about how I am hindering trust with the men, or whatever.
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Mm, you may be surprised. Tozer's sense of humor has some bite to it.
[ It was the first thing to put the sergeant on Hickey's radar, really. The fact that Hickey often found himself on the receiving end of it only made it that much more intriguing. ]
We'll need something to entertain ourselves come winter. Once the polar night arrives, we'll be stuck on the ship with no daylight for more than a month.
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[ The stars are a nice touch - it's not the same as being in space, but staring up at the sky calms Angelo down. It is only the cold that prevents him from spending more time on deck, simply gazing up into the heavens he so likes to claim to hail from. ]
Besides, there is much to be done on board. The survival situation has made everyone slovenly, and I intend to fix it.
[ Clean-up will continue until morale either improves or worsens so much that someone starts physically fighting Angelo about it.
But speaking of things to clean... Angelo glances to the side, the little bedside table that has a nicely folded up pile of dark blue cloth on it. He finished it earlier today, but now he feels a little sheepish about handing it over. Hickey is nothing like Frontal, doing him favors is uncharted territory. ]
... I did find something to entertain myself with those past few days, too.
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[ Huh. Space sounds immediately less appealing. The winters in the arctic are utterly miserable. Even with the comparison, Hickey finds it difficult to imagine what such a setting might be like to experience firsthand. Surely the only light in space can't be gas lamps and candles...
Angelo pulls him out of this pondering before he's too distracted by it, though. Knowing Angelo, Hickey is expecting some report about singlehandedly reorganizing the entire hold. ]
Have you taken it upon yourself to wash every scrap of fabric on board?
[ He says it with a grin, obviously joking. Angelo's obsession with laundry is quite cute. ]
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And what if I had?
[ He'd be well on track for it, at least. There's been a lot that has gone neglected, and if he is forced to call this place home for the foreseeable future, he is going to at least make it bearable. The only good thing the British Crown has ever done was provide scented soaps to the Discovery Service, he is convinced. ]
But no. I mean, aside from that.
[ He reaches over to pick up the bundle and unceremoniously hands it over to Hickey. If the fight last night hadn't happened, maybe he would have tried to be formal about it, but he feels... Well, he's not sure how he feels. Like he wants Hickey to eat shit for the way he treated him on deck, but also like he's put a lot of effort into a project that he--
He wants to hand it over and exorcise the doubts from his mind, even just for a little. ]
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[ As much as Hickey enjoys poking fun at Angelo's standards for cleanliness, it's a trait he's fond of. Sailors are indeed a disgusting lot. Hickey can stomach filth better than Angelo, but that doesn't mean he enjoys it. ]
The men will appreciate your efforts more than they'll let on. Finding time to care about trivial things again will restore some humanity to them.
[ The primal need for survival has robbed them of that these past few months.
Angelo passes over the bundle and at first, Hickey thinks that Angelo's found an extra peacoat tucked away somewhere. Perhaps one of Little's left behind in this berth, even. How cute. Hodgson will take issue with Hickey wearing yet another dead officer's uniform, surely.
But Hickey recognizes the cuts in the fabric the instant he unfolds it, and he's caught in a moment of unguarded astonishment. What? He remembers Angelo's offer to mend the coat when they first arrived here, but... His fingers trace the careful line of stitches that have all but erased the Tuunbaq's claws. Angelo has even gotten most of the blood out. The stain is faded but still visible if he looks closely, and really, that's perfect. Surviving the attack of a vicious god is a badge of honor, just like the stabs Angelo has left intact across the chest.
Hickey is quiet for a long while, gripped tightly in a knot of emotions he can't quite manage to untangle. When is the last time anyone has done something like this for him? Gifts and gestures of kindness are foreign to him, save for when there's some hidden motive attached. Perhaps Angelo does have a price in mind for this. He must, surely. Why else...?
Finally, Hickey looks up at Angelo, his expression confused. He's nervous, he realizes. He doesn't know what to make of this. ]
Why...
[ No. Try again. ]
How long did this take you?
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Hickey really is quiet for a long time. That doesn't feel according to script, but Angelo can be patient. He can wait. (Frontal was quiet often, sometimes for hours.)
The ship sways below them. It is faint, but Angelo can't help noticing it every time there's a moment of quiet. Spaceships had better stabilization, and they were made of solid metal not creaking wood. Hickey told him the swaying would get worse when they're out on open waters. Angelo hopes he can get used to it in time.
Hickey's question brings him back to the present. How long...? Angelo can only shrug. ]
I didn't keep count. I washed the fabric the morning after we got here and it must have taken the whole morning, but I had other things in the basin as well. The sewing... I don't know. I spent a few hours in the evenings on it.
[ And he kind of fails to see why it matters, too. 'How long' is an odd question. ]
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He can be patient. He is not blinded by lust, eager to rush Angelo into bed. But how is he meant to convey what he's feeling otherwise? Words are so... specific. ]
You didn't need to do this. We have other coats.
[ He smiles brightly, turning his attention back to the garment. Repairing the coat was truly unnecessary, and yet Angelo did it anyway. Because of an offhand comment once made about its significance. It's surprising that Angelo would even remember that story as anything but an explanation for the damage.
Hickey has been too in his head about this, perhaps, too focused on charting a course to stop himself reading into the unsteady ground between them. Angelo is skittish with touch and has promised his heart to another. What's left, then? What does that make this, beyond ordinary friendship?
Hickey doesn't understand how Angelo feels about him. If anything, the coat further muddles things, but... Something is there. A light in the distance, a point to aim for. ]
Can I kiss you?
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He hadn't been angling for this to be different. To begin with, he'd started his work for selfish reasons and kept up with it because he liked the feeling of forward momentum it gave him to have a little project. And he'd wanted to--
There's other coats, yes. But simply giving Hickey another coat would not have erased the influence of his almost-God as effectively. This coat is a testament to survival, and to having chosen a different path - a path with Angelo in it. Every stitch had been about sewing himself into Hickey's world. A world ripped apart, like his own had been, and imperfectly mended now. The stained sheets can never become clean again, the torn fabric cannot grow back together, the fallen divine cannot ascend again... but they're still here. Surviving their deities.
Angelo softens under the weight of Hickey's joy. He'd been meaning to explain some of his reasoning, to make a bold claim with it, bolder than he actually feels, but...
Ah... That's... Angelo lowers his eyes for a moment, strangely shy, before leaning in closer. ]
You don't have to ask.
[ How strange it feels, to be asked. ]
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Come here.
[ He's careful to be gentle this time. His hand settles at the back of Angelo's neck, tugging him forward as he leans to press their lips together.
When they're alone like this, it's easy to forget where they are. Hickey's body no longer reminds him that he should be hungry and hurting and weak. Even when he was mortal, he was too quick to set aside vigilance in favor of enjoying the moment in its entire. That's how Lt. Irving caught him with Billy. That's how they're going to get caught here, sooner or later. Hickey's mind is too happy to run with the break from reality, convincing him that he doesn't want for anything but this.
He lets go of the coat in his lap to find Angelo's hand with his. Overhead, they can hear boots on the deck above, the helm creaking as Lane shouts some order. They are not alone, not really. The door doesn't even lock. Underneath his pounding pulse and the flutter in his chest, some part of him sounds an alarm, begging for him to pay attention. Survive first, and then he and Angelo can enjoy each other properly.
But say they do get caught. So what? What can the crew do about it? As Angelo said, they have bigger issues to worry over. They'll disapprove, surely, and it will make for an awkward social dynamic, but it's far less risk than he's ever faced before. No one said a word about Billy's death, either.
Why, then, does he break the kiss before he's ready, before he can sink into the moment and get lost in it? The alarm in his head rings louder than ever. ]
Thank you.
[ Another kiss as he tries to shake the hesitance, but it doesn't work. Irritating. He sets that strange emotion aside for now. It's not the time to dissect it. ]
I really do hate those overcoats.
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This time, he's settled within his flesh. When Hickey places a hand on his neck, when Hickey takes his bottom lip between his own, when Hickey's beard brushes over his chin, when Hickey touches his fingers... He can feel it now, and not just through a wall of cotton. And it's--- It's soft and fluttery, it's gentler than it should be, more selfless (can Elias ever be selfless?), and it--
It's nice. It hadn't just been the exhaustion and the emotional affirmation that made him feel that way a few days ago, as he had assumed. No, it's... even when it's not a new manifestation of their bond solidifying, Hickey's mouth doesn't feel invasive. Angelo is more bothered by the chapped and torn state of his own lips than he is put off by having someone else so close.
He doesn't disgust me. It's a realization that shouldn't come so late, and certainly shouldn't leave him awestruck, but as they lean in for that brief second kiss, it's all that Angelo can think about. How far does this go? He'd made up his mind on offering up his body that night, but he had never thought that--
Hickey comments about the overcoats, and Angelo huffs. ]
They're hideous.
[ His eyes linger on Hickey's lips for a little longer than need be, even as he starts talking. His cheeks are flushed. ]
A leader can't remain dressed like a potato sack. And this coat... You overcame the bear. You should wear that with pride, in front of all.
no subject
Another thing the sailors would not support: Wearing the coat of a man you've murdered with pride. Even Hickey's mutineers struggle with such a distinct break from societal morality, and he can hardly fault them for it. Most have likely never been forced to choose between morals and survival. It's one more thread of understanding he shares with Angelo alone. ]
Sergeant Tozer will not be pleased.
[ He says it with a grin, like it's an inside joke. Let Tozer gripe over this if he chooses. Angelo can have that win.
Hickey catches the way Angelo's eyes linger, too. Hm. He's tempted to draw attention to it, but decides against it. Gentle, he reminds himself. Angelo does not react well to needling.
Instead, the hand at Angelo's neck falls away, trailing down his chest as Hickey pulls back. He doesn't go far, though. ]
You were upset the last time we spoke about the creature. You've changed your mind, then?
no subject
I wouldn't call it 'changing my mind', exactly.
[ It seems he gets to give his grand proclamation anyway, though it feels a bit less bold when it's just directly prompted by Hickey's questioning. ]
The thought of you bonding with it is as repulsive to me as it was before - but you didn't, did you now? You blew it up and came back to me. This is proof of it.
[ The bear's marks, erased by Angelo's own careful craftsmanship. ]
no subject
I did come back to you.
[ His fingers squeeze gently. ]
I made that decision long before we met the bear, you know. When I said I was never planning to leave you, I meant it.
[ He no longer had a need for the Tuunbaq to fill, yes, but he knew quite early into their venture that his path forward needed to include Angelo. Maybe he knew back at the palace, even, on some subconscious level. He must have. Why else would he have invited Angelo to come with him? If he just needed the help in wrangling his crew, he would've tried to recruit others. The fact that no one else would've agreed without serious coercion would not have deterred him.
He wonders what that means, then. The shape of Angelo's affection is still mysterious. Angelo says these kinds of things and Hickey thinks for a moment that he has a clear picture—until he remembers the Captain.
For now, at least, he tries to set those misgivings aside. He wants to enjoy the moment for what it is. The coat in his lap... It's going to take some days before he can process everything it's dredged up for him. ]
no subject
Seems like we both decided earlier than assumed, then.
[ The echo of his own confession is at least not lost on him. He'd said it with no small amount of desperation, trying to smooth over the strange rift that had opened under their feet, but it had been the truth. He decided to bet on Hickey before Hickey ever knew.
And part of him wants to know when and why Hickey had made the reverse decision, but asking feels vulnerable in a way he can't stomach even now that the air around them is so tender and calm. ]
I don't know if the coat will fit exactly right like this. Some fabric was lost to the claws, so in the worst case might still need to make later adjustments.
no subject
The thought makes Hickey pause, mouth twitching into a brief frown. That is significant, isn't it? In a worrisome way. Angelo's ambivalence toward his own existence has not been lost on Hickey. The detail was noted as soon as it appeared, quickly filed away as anecdotal information that might become useful for future machinations. It's only now that Hickey considers what such a thing might be like to experience. He can't relate in the slightest. ]
The coat was too large on me to begin with. It's perfect. Don't worry yourself.
[ His attention drops to the fabric again. With the dark color, it will be difficult to tell that the coat was repaired at all from a distance. That suits them, doesn't it? The care Angelo has put into stitching over the Tuunbaq's destruction, rendering it nearly invisible... There's something to that. ]
Why did you want to die before Ish brought us to the palace?
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