angelo and the hickster's post-belle arctic adventures

[spotsalone]

CORNELIUS HICKEY
caulker's mate (T)
alive

ANGELO SAUPER
lieutenant (NZ)
alive

SOLOMON TOZER
marine, sergeant (T)
alive

GEORGE HODGSON
lieutenant (T)
alive

MAGNUS MANSON
ab (T)
alive

EDWARD LITTLE
lieutenant (T)
alive, 1 hp

CHARLES DES VOEUX
mate (E)
alive

WILLIAM PILKINGTON
marine, private (E)
alive

JOHN LANE
boatswain (T)
alive

JOHN DIGGLE
cook (T)
alive, lung damage

JOHN SULLIVAN
capt. of the maintop (E)
alive

JAMES RIGDEN
coxswain (E)
alive

ROBERT FERRIER
ab (T)
alive

ROBERT THOMAS
mate (T)
dead, scurvy

THOMAS ARMITAGE
gunroom steward (T)
dead, tuunbaq

JAMES DALY
marine, private (T)
dead, tuunbaq

EDMUND HOAR
captain's steward (E)
dead, tuunbaq

THOMAS TERRY
boatswain (E)
dead, scurvy

THOMAS WORK
ab (T)
dead, scurvy

HARRY GOODSIR
surgeon (E)
alive, rescued

code by pagans



angelo cr chart
mutineers cr chart...

timeline:

• arrival; late july, mutineers' hill
  
• tent chats; early august, temporary camp
  
• spotting the ships; late august, terror camp
  
• tuunbaq attack; sept 1, ice floe camp
  
• boarding terror; fellas it's gay; early sept, hms terror
  
• dog to dog communication; early sept, forecastle
  
• bark bark bark; early sept, on deck
  
• coat! and post-tozer debrief; early sept, angelo's cabin
  
• 🌶️; early sept, hickey's cabin
  
• the dogs are unionizing(?); mid sept, cargo hold
  
• tozer/captain stuff, look at them having an adult conversation; mid sept, greatroom
  
• little rescue mission; early oct, terror bay
  
• post-little debrief; early oct, hickey's cabin

Comments

[cleansheets]

[ The pressure of the hug is pleasant even with how tender he feels, and Angelo sighs as well - not in irritation, but in quiet relief. After all they've done to each other in the short span of a month, it's still difficult to trust the peace that has settled on their relationship, but Angelo feels more secure in this grip than he does elsewhere. ]

Yeah, I know. It's not the first time I've dealt with it, just... Ugh, it's gross.

[ It dredged up unpleasant memories from a time when he was too small to conceptualize any of what happened. A glimpse into his distant past and a glimpse into their immediate future, should they not procure more supplies. What a grisly combination.

Angelo glances up at Hickey. The angle is awkward but he isn't willing to break their connection to pull back and really get a look at him. ]

Is that why you've got this room smelling like an ashtray?

[ He shouldn't pry. It's never gone well. But even though Hickey's always enjoyed his cigarettes, he's not usually a chainsmoker. ]

[spotsalone]

[ Hickey huffs out a flat laugh on reflex. It's not that he's particularly secretive about the fact that their discovery had an impact on him—it'd be insane to try to claim ambivalence—but he does not see the point in talking about it. He'll indulge Angelo for a little while, as the path of least resistance. ]

Yes, well, Solomon was right, wasn't he? That could have been us, had we gone along with Crozier like good little sailors.

[ It's a haunting thought. Hickey suspects Tozer's upset is largely due to the "what if" of it all, the knowledge of the near miss. Following his orders like a loyal marine would have led him to a sad, miserable death. Of course he finds that upsetting. Although he was quick to join the mutiny and never showed signs of hesitation, the idea of defecting is still new to him. Tozer is not a man who handles shake-ups in his worldview with ease.

Hickey has always known that he cannot trust any system to treat him as more than a commodity. His trust in Crozier was easily broken because it was never freely given; he never blindly assumed Crozier would ensure his survival. What bothers him about the camp is its inevitability. Tozer credits Hickey's leadership with escaping that fate, but Hickey knows now that they were destined to die regardless. By the time they started the march south, their men were too weak and their resources were too few for any hope of survival.

Without Ish's intervention, all of them would be dead. Even Angelo. No amount of ingenuity or manipulation or sheer will to survive would have made a difference. Hickey was dead from the moment he set foot on Terror—and he would have been dead if he hadn't, too. Where does that leave him? How far back would he have to travel to escape his own sad, miserable death?

So, sure, they can talk about the bloody camp. On the surface, it's just another horror in a long line of them. ]

It's one thing to imagine such a death. It's another to see it firsthand.

[cleansheets]

[ It's a surprise that Hickey is willing to meet his probing with any amount of openness. Angelo likes to think that he can read Hickey's moods quite well by now, but when it comes to matters of privacy, he's still fumbling in the dark. A man who would clam up when asked about the name of his birth city but who could look him straight in the eye and speak of love... But that's a volatile topic to think about when he's already feeling emotionally worn out. Maybe it's best to not question this. Angelo settles fully back against Hickey's shoulder and closes his eyes instead of attempting any more looks at his face. ]

Mhm. I thought I was used to it.

[ But that was then, in a different life and with a different kind of death. An overdose, a beating... Starvation was part of the mix back then as well, but not like this. The inevitable end in the gutter that Angelo had avoided through the grace of his Captain... It's been replaced by a creeping dread that he is building towards something even more bleak. ]

Guess you never really are, even when that end's been rendered nothing but a hypothetical for you.

[ On most days, it is easy to forget that the body he is holding is merely a conduit for a soul that resides elsewhere, but in moments like this it comes starkly into focus. Many of then will die here, perhaps including Angelo himself, but Hickey never could. ]

[spotsalone]

[ Hickey hums, frowning. Nothing but a hypothetical. Angelo is technically correct, but something about the phrasing doesn't sit right. It takes him a moment to sort out why. ]

I wouldn't say that. A hypothetical is a reality that will never come to be. I may have avoided this particular end for myself, but it's still part of the story.

[ Their current circumstances are a strange transition for him in that way. If his survival had always been guaranteed through immortality, perhaps the camp would be easier to ignore. The chapter of his mortality has not been fully closed yet, and won't be until they're far away from this place. He may no longer be threatened with death, but the arctic still has its claws in him, doesn't it?

Especially now that there's more at stake than just his own survival. Angelo is not immune to the dangers here, not by a long shot. His future in this world may never have included the potential for ending up like those corpses at the camp, but now that future is much more likely for him than for Hickey.

He hugs Angelo to him a little more tightly. ]

It's not as if I had any control over Ish's intervention, either.

[ The sentiment escapes him before he realizes he's traded one uncomfortable topic for another. Their adventure today has worn him out too, leaving his mind dull and distracted. Annoying, but at least the misstep is with Angelo and not someone he'd be more reticent with. ]

[cleansheets]

[ Ish's intervention... Angelo isn't sure how to feel about it anymore. At the time he'd been furious. Every Monday, waking up plucked from the end he always should have met. "Put me back," he said to Ish at their very first meeting, and he'd been screaming it in his mind for days and days, and now... It's hard to decide how he feels. To say Ish "saved" his life would be giving him too much credit, but he certainly prolonged it.

And he prolonged Hickey's in exactly the same way.

Angelo had never realized - not when Hickey told him about the perils of the expedition back at the castle, not when he agreed to come to the arctic with him and not even when they were marching the grueling miles back towards the ships. A risk of death, yes, even a great one, but... ]

... we'd both have wound up frozen bodies never to be found.

[ This was certainty. Of course it was. The Tuunbaq would not have saved Hickey. They know that now. Angelo saw it happen, and it had been an illusion but it had also been a vision.

They'd have been two unfortunate lowlifes preserved in ice, yet forever unknown.

What a thing to have in common. And what a stomach-turning prospect. His own near-death still fills his mind with a kind of longing, but Hickey among those wretched figures at the camp... He didn't think it was possible to feel any sicker about the memory. ]

I still want to rip Ish to shreds for all of it, but his timing was decent on that one.

[spotsalone]

[ Leave it to Angelo to so bluntly spell out the thought Hickey would've rather left as an implication. Frozen bodies, never to be found. After he escaped London, he liked the mystery of it, the way he managed to vanish into thin air, the police left forever chasing a ghost. That was when he expected to be starting a new life on the other side of the world, though. If he were to die out here, wearing another man's name, suffering a slow inevitability until his body simply decided to stop living... That's a much more pathetic story. ]

He'll get what's coming to him eventually. His timing is the only thing he's good for—although... I'm still cross with him for ratting me out over the frog toy, but I would have gotten away with it otherwise...

[ Which means he would not have been executed, which means he would not have earned immortality through death. Ugh. ]

Let's not give him that much credit. Perhaps instead let's consider it a reminder that the best path forward may not look it in the moment.

[ Hickey's execution was certainly a low point for him, but in reality, it was the best thing that could have happened. The same goes for Angelo and being deprived of death. Hickey knows better than to ask about it again, but surely someday Angelo will admit that he's glad for the change of course. ]