spotsalone | angelo and the hickster's post-belle arctic adventures

CORNELIUS HICKEY
caulker's mate (T)
alive

ANGELO SAUPER
lieutenant (NZ)
alive

SOLOMON TOZER
marine, sergeant (T)
alive

GEORGE HODGSON
lieutenant (T)
alive

MAGNUS MANSON
ab (T)
alive

EDWARD LITTLE
lieutenant (T)
alive, 1 hp

CHARLES DES VOEUX
mate (E)
alive

WILLIAM PILKINGTON
marine, private (E)
alive

JOHN LANE
boatswain (T)
alive

JOHN DIGGLE
cook (T)
alive, lung damage

JOHN SULLIVAN
capt. of the maintop (E)
alive

JAMES RIGDEN
coxswain (E)
alive

ROBERT FERRIER
ab (T)
alive

ROBERT THOMAS
mate (T)
dead, scurvy

THOMAS ARMITAGE
gunroom steward (T)
dead, tuunbaq

JAMES DALY
marine, private (T)
dead, tuunbaq

EDMUND HOAR
captain's steward (E)
dead, tuunbaq

THOMAS TERRY
boatswain (E)
dead, scurvy

THOMAS WORK
ab (T)
dead, scurvy

HARRY GOODSIR
surgeon (E)
alive, rescued

code by pagans

angelo cr chart
mutineers cr chart...

timeline:

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Hickey tilts his chin up and Angelo is too taken aback by the gesture to resist it. From most people, this would be condescending enough to warrant a hit. From Frontal, it would have reduced him to a flustered puddle instead. And from Hickey... from Hickey it's just strange. Maybe it's because Angelo's composure is in tatters already, so the rush he feels is impossible to place as either thrill or irritation. No matter which it is, Hickey is touching him. He hasn't left yet.

Angelo can't tell whether his smile is real or not, but it has to be good enough. ]

... it appears so.

[ Someone like Hickey shouldn't be such a fountain of encouragement and respect. It's all wrong. Nothing about the picture of him that Angelo had built up in his head during their castle stay has held up.

Seems like neither of us got what we bargained for.

It's funny, isn't it? That they got themselves here, plunging into a relationship that doesn't deserve the name, and will inevitably break each other into pieces. That's what they get, what people like them deserve.

Dizzy with misery, still shaking like a leaf, Angelo nevertheless gives a lopsided little grin. ]

Hey, Elias. [ He can't keep being the more fragile one. ] Can I kiss you?

[ There's something delightfully irritating in the way Angelo asks. He must know it's not necessary. Is he teasing, then? Poking fun at having been asked in the first place? That would track, if he's concerned with looking pitiful.

Noted. No more babying. That amount of caution would get tedious quickly, anyway. ]

You don't have to ask, either.

[ Playfulness doesn't come easily in the wake of this mess, even if they've sorted themselves out for the moment. His thumb brushes across Angelo's cheek. Angelo is still trembling, and Hickey... isn't sure what to do about that. He lets it be for now, thinking it best not to draw attention. ]

[ There's a small huff from Angelo, amusement and satisfaction in one. They're going down, but it's too late to go back on the method of their destruction.

I can't give you what you want. Wouldn't want to, even if I could. The wrong thoughts to have as you wrap your arms around someone's shoulders, pulling them in for a kiss, but Angelo's pretty sure he's never had any correct thoughts about kissing anyway.

He remembers the way Hickey approached him in the captain's cabin. And he knows how to emulate that kind of hunger, that kind of heat. He can't give Hickey what he truly desires, can't make him his living God, the only one in his heart... but he can give him this. An expression of desire legible to all who are not as broken as Angelo himself. Lips and tongue and teeth, as much as Hickey will let him, a practiced performance only a little rusty with age. ]

[ Oh. This is not the energy Hickey was expecting, nor is it the energy he wants right now. Taking pleasure in each other after the conversation they've just had will only sour the experience, and more than that, the door doesn't even lock. It's bad timing, top to bottom.

But it takes Hickey longer than it should to draw these conclusions. Angelo comes at him in force and it's too convincing. For a moment, he's lost in it, swept up in his desire to be wanted and touched, to put all of the tension behind them and just enjoy this, finally. His fingers automatically twine in Angelo's hair as their tongues trace one another, warm breath mingling, heat spreading through him.

It takes so little to work him up anymore. A product of three years on this damned expedition, no doubt, but it's Angelo's doing, too. He wasn't this hungry with Billy. He had opportunities in the castle he could've pounced on, but was happy enough to shrug off. Angelo makes him work for it, though. Even something so simple as a kiss, Hickey doesn't take for granted. Every second they spend with their bodies pressed together is earned, and despite the darkness in Angelo's motivations lying just out of sight, the fleeting electricity between them is enough to mask it.

And what a frightening prospect that is. Angelo's arms wrap around him and Hickey thinks in earnest that he's just downplayed his own lust. Angelo wants this too, he must, he is not a man who fakes things—but none of that makes sense. Why lie in the lead up? Why lie and immediately betray the story? Angelo is not a man who fakes things, but he could fake this, couldn't he?

Hickey breaks the kiss with a frustrated hum, one that might be mistaken for an eagerness that must be quelled for the time being. ]

We mustn't get ahead of ourselves.

[ He wishes he could just allow himself to be convinced. It would be easier for both of them, wouldn't it? Angelo keeps insisting he wants this, even if not in the way Hickey needs him to. Is that enough? Is that another cracked foundation that will collapse into dust as soon as they try to build on it?

It's all too bloody complicated already—and they've been at this, what, three or four days? Hickey sighs. ]

Come to my cabin tonight, after the others have gone to bed.

[ Hickey responds to Angelo's advances in kind, and Angelo is glad to have won his wager. It feels sleazy, to use methods from when he was 'working' with Hickey, but it was Hickey himself who had told him to use the things in his arsenal, no matter what their reputation. He can't give what Hickey wants and he can't find the right words to make him believe the things that he is able to provide - so he has to mirror Hickey's language. 'I want you, and badly.' This is what that sentiment felt like, and this is what he needs to convey. There's a difference in the shape of their want, a connotation Angelo is willfully playing into while also ignoring it, but... it's good enough. For now. They just need to stay afloat a little longer.

They break apart and Angelo can still taste Hickey in his mouth. A lingering hint of tobacco that he's not sure ever disappears (or maybe it's just that he can't imagine Hickey tasting any other way?) and a slight tingling of his lips. Tastes and sensations that Angelo used to loathe, but the shadow of disgust won't settle, even now.

Reluctantly, Angelo untangles from Hickey and steps back. There's not a lot of distance to put between them in the narrow confines of his berth, even if he were trying, but he's fine with lingering close regardless of that. ]

We've done nothing but get ahead of ourselves.

[ It's meant to be a joke, but there is far too much truth in it for that. In retrospect, hauling the boat had been a mercy. It kept them occupied and exhausted, far too much so to start any nonsense. The minute they stopped being busy with unwanted manual labor, everything started bursting to the forefront. Angelo resolves to go and clean the forecastle hall today, to really wear himself out. Maybe then he won't be as prone to spiraling when they reconvene. Maybe. ]

I'll be there.

Edited 2025-08-04 19:27 (UTC)

angelo and the hickster's post-belle arctic adventures

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