spotsalone | angelo; pc catchall

I've taken lives, but in combat.

[ Most often in an 18m tall fighting robot, but explaining that to Elias seems like an absolutely insane task and Angelo isn't keen on wasting this night on that. ]

The other way... I can't say I haven't thought about it.

[ A lot. A lot lot. All the time, really. Venting it all out, making them all disappear. ]

But would you waste your life exacting short-sighted revenge on some filthy piece of shit? None of my 'guests' were worth that level of dedication.

[ Oh, Elias' opinion of Angelo improves exponentially at that final sentiment. ]

Revenge is a waste. It moves you backwards instead of forwards. To chase after such a fleeting relief is childish.

[ He plucks the cigarette from his mouth with two fingers and offers it to Angelo. Maybe he'll take him up on it, this time. ]

Why haven't you acted on it here, then? Sounds to me like you could do with a wish of your own.

[ Angelo looks between Elias and the cigarette for a moment. There is a palpable tension in the air, a war in Angelo's own head. He is exhausted. He is angry, too, at Elias for exposing his weaknesses in the trial just to make himself seem the saint... He wants to engage in vices his Captain has broken him free on, but he does not want his lips to touch something tainted by someone else.

At the same time, Elias is about to die and Angelo can see this for the offer of camaraderie that it is. It feels almost sincere, from a man who surely is anything but, as camouflaging as the animal sprung from his soul.

After a complicated two seconds, he just gets mad at himself, his indecision, the amount of stock he's putting into this one way or another. So with a quick and agitated movement he grabs the cigarette from Elias and takes a deep drag. He's clearly practiced at it.

... it feels nostalgic. It feels good. He hates that it does. ]

I'm not letting Ish's magic touch the Captain.

[ Angelo himself is becoming re-tainted all over in his absence. Filthy by association with his past, poisoned by nicotine, dirtied over and over. A corrupted existence robbed of its only salvation.

Full Frontal isn't like this. Full Frontal has to remain pure, even in death. ]

[ The corner of his mouth ticks up as Angelo accepts the offer. He notes, too, that the pull goes down smoothly. That's unexpected. As per usual, there's more layers to Angelo than Elias anticipated. ]

But you could use the magic for yourself. Your people, even. Though a dealing with such an untrustworthy creature is far from ideal, it has to be better than returning home empty-handed.

[ He leans back, propping himself up with his palms. ]

At least our suffering here wouldn't be for nothing.

They can all choke, for all I care.

[ ... yeah.

Angelo generally does feel that Spacenoids deserve freedom broadly speaking, but it's not like the people who used and abused him hadn't also been Spacenoids. In the end, it's the whole world that is rotten. ]

And the moment I go home, I'll freeze to death in the endless vacuum of space.

[ So it's all. EXTREMELY POINTLESS. A beat, and another drag of cigarette. ]

It's all such a joke.

So, don't go home.

[ He says it like a simple option. But: ]

I'm not a lieutenant. I'm not even a sailor. I killed the man whose name I stole to board the ship because I needed to get out of London. If I had stayed, I'd be rotting in a ditch somewhere by now.

[ He grins. It's not a happy thought, but what matters is that it didn't happen. He escaped—into a separate hell, to be sure, but why shouldn't he escape that too? ]

You can choose to look at it as a joke—or as an opportunity. You always have options, Angelo. The trick is just... knowing how to invent them for yourself.

[ He turns his full attention to Angelo, his gaze stern. ]

Your pride is not worth more than your life. If you've an opportunity to gain an advantage, you should take it, no matter the cost.

[ ... ah. It's the kind of platitude that Angelo would find laughable from anybody else, but he knows that Hickey means it. Has lived it. Would live it again, if he weren't locked in here to die.

Over and over, to stay alive. ]

So that's how you got to have such a scandalous name.

[ A flippant comment first, because there's a lot else to say and feel and he can't really wrap his whole mind around it yet. ]

I've survived this long because I've refused to die a pointless death. I know how to do it.

[ He doesn't know if he wants to, this time. But it's whatever. TIME TO REDIRECT A LITTLE. ]

You haven't given up on yourself yet, have you?

[ Elias snorts. ]

It's not a name I would have chosen for myself, given the choice. Cornelius. Ugh.

[ He finds that name more disagreeable than Hickey, but it's a stiff competition now that he's been enlightened on modern slang.

But he looks pleased that Angelo's tune has changed. It's odd to call anyone here a friend after such a short time together, but... whatever their relationship may be, he does not relish the thought of Angelo returning home only to die—and a sorry death, at that. He deserves a more fitting end to his story. ]

The two of us... I'm sure you'll understand when I say that I'm the only person in my corner. I can't give up on myself; the moment I do, I'm dead. I'd wager the same is true for you. We're all we've got.

[ He flashes a smile that's more hopeful than any man on death row has the right to be. ]

This will work out in my favor. I'll do what I can to make it work out in yours, as well.

[ Hickey has his own brightness to him. Not blinding like most of the people here, not the brightness of those too fortunate to have been dimmed at all. Just the brightness of a lamp in the gutter, lighting the path forward so you don't cut your feet on broken glass.

'You have nobody on your side', Hickey says and then 'I'll be on your side' in almost the same breath. Laughable. Inconsistent
Meaningless. He'll be dead come morning.

But Angelo can't say he hates this kind of determination. It's self-deluded but raw and strangely honest. ]

... I'll be looking forward to your show, Elias.

[ And he does. Maybe he'll have his pessimism proven wrong just yet. Maybe Elias will truly transcend from the pitiful existence that he is.

Angelo blows some cigarette smoke vaguely into Elias' direction, just because he can. ]

I'll be rooting for you, even. Your resourcefulness shouldn't go to waste here.

[ Elias. His eyes drop and he chuckles a little, hearing the name in someone else's voice. It's... nice.

Even if it's accompanied by a waft of cigarette smoke. Hey? ]

...Thanks.

[ He should have more to say, some deflection or smug retort, but something tells him not to push it. As rocky as his relationship with Angelo has been these past weeks, there's a stability underneath the turbulence that he wants to linger in a little longer.

In truth, he's a little scared, going into tomorrow. But admitting to such a thing would be admitting a lack of confidence in himself, and that won't do. ]

You can stay a while yet, if you'd like.

[ Said flippantly, with a shrug. It's boring here, and that's definitely his only motivation in offering that option. He fishes another cigarette out of his pocket. ]

Tell me what space is like. Or of your Captain. Anything.

angelo; pc catchall

mentions of teenage prostitution.

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